Oh, hi, Mark.

I've heard it said that everyone is good at something.

I don't believe that for a second because I know too many people and plenty of them aren't good at anything. I am one of those people.

I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Also a bad habit of speaking in movie quotes. But all that aside I am a world-class quitter.

I don't think there's anything I've ever started that I didn't quit, present job excluded. I have quit two sports, six different musical instruments, dozens of friendships, three jobs, two colleges, and one religion (three times). I quit sewing, learning Spanish, washing my car, cooking, paying credit card bills, and this blog. Blogger informed me that my last update was over a year ago.

Although I had 16 pageviews last month. Who the hell are you people? If you're looking for Juno-nominated singer-songwriter Jill Barber, I'm soorry (Canadian sorry) you didn't find her. Try jillbarber.com, which that bitch bought before I could. Shouldn't she have to be jillbarber.ca since she's from Halifax? That's been bothering me since 2005. Someday when I'm dying of lung cancer that has metastasized to the rest of my body and robbed me of my facial elasticity, I will shake a frail fist between coughs and wheeze, "It's not fair; she's Canadian!" before asking a hospice nurse for more morphine.

I imagine this happening in maybe 2025 or so, but that's just me being responsible and putting together my 10-year plan.

I digress. I am considering resurrecting this blog. I haven't done so yet; consider this post as more of an exhumation. Is that a word? I think it's a word. If it wasn't it is now. The long and short of it is that I miss writing and pretending that I'm terribly clever and that people want to read what I have to say. I want to do that again. I want to pretend.

I'm going to re-read this in a few days, poke at the bones of it, see if there's enough flesh left to bother raising the dead. And if there is I've got to have a long talk with my mother before I start saying what I want to say.

Especially since I think all 16 of those pageviews might have been her ... except that one in Alaska. Again, Alaska?

Stalker.